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A Letter to My Family

a letter to my family

This beautiful poem was shared at a workshop I attended for The Conversation Project.. I have a copy with my will with instructions to give to my children when the time comes. I know they will do their best to care for me, but, like me, they tend to beat themselves up wondering what else they could have done. I don’t want them to feel badly;  I want them to go on with their lives and not look back with regret, knowing they made the best decisions they could with the information they had at the time. And that I love them.

Don’t Panic – It’s OK

by Karen Boudreau, MD


If you are faced with a decision that you’re not ready for,
It’s ok
I’ll try to let you know what I would want for various circumstances,
But if you come to something we haven’t anticipated,
It’s ok
And if you come to a decision point and what you decide results in my death,
It’s ok.
You don’t need to worry that you’ve caused my death – you haven’t –
I will die because of my illness or my body failing or whatever.
You don’t need to feel responsible.
Forgiveness is not required,
But if you feel bad / responsible / guilty,
First of all don’t and second of all,
You are loved and forgiven.
If you’re faced with a snap decision, don’t panic —
Choose comfort,
Choose home,
Choose less intervention,
Choose to be together, at my side, holding my hand,
Singing, laughing, loving, celebrating, and carrying on.
I will keep loving you and watching you and being proud of you.


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