Lana McAra, the host of the Awake TV show called, “Now It’s My Turn! Where the 50+ Woman Awakens her Spark and En-Joys her Life.”, is everything you might envision in a talk show host. She embodies confidence, authenticity and a sincere warmth. These qualities, though now so much a part of her persona, were not fully realized until well into adulthood. Lana was, in her words, “a very different person during her first 50 years”. 

“I felt unloved and unlovable”

The oldest of five children, Lana’s mother expected her to care for the house, her siblings, and an elderly disabled relative living with the family who was a known pedaphile, starting at age six. Her father left when she was young, and when Lana was 13 her mother married a man who controlled the family with threats of violence. To gain approval and avoid negative consequences, she became a massive overachiever in all areas of her life. She lived in a hypervigilent state, always on the lookout for hidden dangers, both real and presumed.

Lana found safety and solace in an independent Baptist church as a teen, but continued her quest for perfection and validation. She finally left her abusive and dysfunctional family behind at age 18, putting herself through college out of state. After she graduated with a degree in education, Lana married a minister she knew would provide her with a secure and stable life. In return, Lana partnered with him to grow a vibrant congregation. Together they became missionaries in the jungles of the Caribbean, where Lana raised and home-schooled their seven children for many years until they returned to the U.S. As a result of her difficult childhood, Lana was a resilient, resourceful and tenacious individual. These characteristics helped her juggle her large family and the church, in addition to her job as a writer. She became an award winning, best-selling author, publishing 18 books during her marriage. 

“I didn’t know who I was”