I never imagined that turning 50 would profoundly change my relationship with my body and food. After decades of dieting, restriction, and occasional bouts of guilt-laden indulgence, I thought I’d finally settled into some kind of balance. But here I am, well into midlife, facing a new landscape of physical and emotional changes that sometimes feel like they’re reshaping me from the inside out.
My body has shifted in ways I didn’t expect; my metabolism is slower, my energy levels fluctuate, and my weight seems to have a mind of its own. And along with all these changes, my relationship with food has evolved, for better or worse.
Do I Have an Eating Disorder?
For years, I thought struggles with food and body image were just a phase people went through in their teens or twenties. But the reality is, for many women over 50, those pressures and emotional ties to food don’t simply vanish. Midlife introduces new challenges.
One key for me to navigating this stage was understanding the difference between disordered eating and exhibiting the prolonged, persistent disturbances that represented a full-fledged, diagnosable eating disorder. Unhealthy patterns like restrictive dieting, emotional eating, and an obsession over “good” and “bad” foods were hallmark behaviors that led me to realize I had a real eating disorder. Recognizing this helped me reframe my self-talk, approach food and aging with more compassion, and build a healthier relationship with my body. Here’s my story and what I’ve learned along the way.
Understanding the Difference Between Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders
In my eyes, my behaviors around food were just part of “keeping myself in shape” over the years. I’d cycle through phases—restricting calories here, cutting carbs there, and then finding myself eating out of boredom or anxiety. For a long time, I thought of these habits as “normal”.
These irregular or ‘disordered’ eating behaviors didn’t meet the criteria for a full-blown eating disorder, like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or compulsive overeating. While less severe, these behaviors still disrupted my life and brought about an unhealthy preoccupation with food. Recognizing that while I didn’t have a diagnosed disorder, my relationship with food wasn’t as balanced as I thought.
It’s important to acknowledge that while many of us in our 50s may not have diagnosable eating disorders as severe as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating, disordered eating behaviors like mine are unhealthy and harmful.
My disordered eating primarily presented as restriction and emotional eating cycles. I never had extreme weight fluctuations, and I wasn’t overweight or underweight, but my habits were very disruptive. I worried constantly about being perfectly balanced. This usually meant cutting entire food groups and tracking every calorie. I had periods of rigid control and then unintentional binges when my emotions got the best of me. Unraveling these patterns and creating healthier habits took years. It wasn’t a quick process; it took many tries and self-discovery. Though I made great progress, I still must practice mindful eating daily, choosing to eat with self-compassion rather than guilt or control.
How Aging Pressures Affect Eating Habits and Body Image
The physical reality of aging is undoubtedly one of the biggest challenges I faced during this new phase of life. My body isn’t the same as in my thirties or forties. I’m not just talking about the lines on my face or the gray hairs that seem to pop up overnight; I’m talking about bigger changes, like slower metabolism, changes in muscle tone, and weight shifts. Despite maintaining an active lifestyle, I still find myself at odds with these changes. Sometimes, it’s hard to feel comfortable in a body that seems so unfamiliar.
Then there are the cultural pressures; the unspoken (and sometimes spoken) expectation to look young and fit, which often feels suffocating. Women over 50 face the double-edged sword of ageism and beauty standards that don’t seem to care that our bodies naturally change. I’m torn between the desire to accept my body as it is and the pressure to resist these changes by controlling my weight or appearance. It’s a tug-of-war that affects my eating habits.
The hormonal changes of menopause added another layer. I never expected hormonal fluctuations to impact my hunger, cravings, and moods. It’s as though my body is suddenly acting on impulses I don’t recognize, and at times, I turned to food as a way to cope. This experience showed me just how easy it is to slip into disordered eating, especially in a society that glorifies control and willpower.
Embracing Healthy Aging
In addition to navigating eating habits, I learned that healthy aging is about much more than preserving a youthful appearance. It’s a holistic approach to growing older with wellness and vitality. Defined as “developing and maintaining the physical, mental, and social well-being needed to live fully at any age, healthy aging means embracing each stage with a focus on strength, flexibility, mental clarity, and emotional resilience”[1]. This perspective shifted my focus from controlling every aspect of my appearance to honoring my body’s needs and nourishing it with balanced eating, regular activity, and self-compassion. By viewing my body as a dynamic, ever-evolving part of my identity, I found the freedom to embrace change and prioritize my health in ways that bring me genuine joy and energy.
Cultivating a Healthier Relationship with Food in Midlife
If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that developing a healthier relationship with food isn’t about finding the next diet or mastering self-control. Instead, it’s about learning to listen to my body, showing myself compassion, and cultivating habits that honor my body’s natural aging process. Here are a few practices that have helped me along the way.
Practice Mindful Eating
I first encountered the idea of mindful eating a couple of years ago, and it’s since become a central part of my approach to food. Instead of rushing through meals or eating while distracted, I now try to slow down, chew my food thoroughly, and tune into how it feels to eat. I ask myself simple questions: “Am I still hungry?” and “Does this food make me feel good?”. It sounds basic, but it changed my relationship with food by helping me understand what my body needs versus what I might eat out of habit or emotion.
Reframe Negative Self-Talk Around Body Image
Body image is a huge hurdle. I still have days when I catch myself criticizing my appearance, comparing myself to younger women, or longing for the body I had 20 years ago. But I learned to interrupt that negative self-talk. Instead of obsessing over what I want to change, I focus on what my body does for me. It’s not easy, and I don’t always succeed, but the shift in perspective helps alot.
Set Realistic Health Goals Focused on Wellness, Not Weight
Before, setting health goals meant hitting a certain number on the scale or returning to a smaller dress size. Now, I focus on goals that make me feel good, like having more energy, improving my mobility, or reducing stress. These goals have nothing to do with how I look and everything to do with how I feel. The freedom to focus on wellness instead of weight makes me more consistent and kinder to myself in the long run.
Embrace Intuitive Eating Principles
Intuitive eating has been a revelation. Instead of following a list of “good” and “bad” foods, I now allow myself to eat what I want without guilt or judgment. This doesn’t mean I eat recklessly; I trust my body to guide me toward a balanced diet. If I want dessert, I have it. If I’m not particularly hungry, I might skip a meal. Intuitive eating has helped me unlearn decades of diet culture beliefs and has allowed me to enjoy food without the constant mental calculations.
Seek Social Support or Professional Guidance
I’ll be honest: finding a healthy relationship with food is a process, and I didn’t accomplish it alone. I leaned on friends and family and worked with a therapist who specializes in disordered eating. Having someone who understands what I’m going through proved invaluable. If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out whether to a friend, family member, or professional.
Recognizing the Signs of Eating Disorders in Midlife
Over the past few years, I began to understand that eating disorders can affect anyone at any age. For some women over 50, conditions like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and compulsive overeating are real, and the symptoms may look different than they do in younger individuals. I’ve met women who, like me, never thought they’d face these challenges at this stage of life yet struggle. If your eating habits are interfering with your daily life, impacting your physical health, or causing distress, it might be time to consider professional help.
Embracing Midlife with Self-Compassion and Acceptance
In midlife, the journey with food and body image is often less about control and more about acceptance. I am still learning to navigate this path with self-compassionate, treating my body as a partner rather than something to “fix.” I hope that by sharing my story, other women over 50 might feel seen and encouraged to pursue their paths toward a healthy, balanced relationship with food.
Aging is inevitable, but our relationship with food can become a source of nourishment, joy, and comfort rather than a battleground. Embracing the body’s natural changes and finding peace with food has brought me a newfound freedom I never experienced in my younger years. And if my story helps even one woman feel less alone in her journey, then it’s a story worth sharing.
Citations:
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/healthy-aging/what-do-we-know-about-healthy-aging
About the Author: Tracy Ambers (LCSW)
Tracy Ambers is an experienced eating disorder specialist based in Las Vegas, currently working at Virtue Recovery Las Vegas. With over 25 years in the field, Tracy combines her professional expertise with her journey, having navigated the challenges of an eating disorder later in life. Her unique perspective helps her connect deeply with her clients, particularly those facing similar struggles in midlife and beyond. Tracy is passionate about breaking down stigmas around eating disorders in older adults and advocates for a compassionate, holistic approach to recovery.
FAQs
Below are some commonly asked questions about women over age 50 and concerns about how their bodies change as they get older.
What are some common body image concerns for women over 50?
It’s not unusual for women in midlife to struggle with how their bodies change as they age. Body image concerns for women in this phase of life include weight gain, loss of muscle tone and changes in body shape. It’s hard for many women to accept that they no longer look or feel the same as they did when younger.
How common are eating disorders in older women?
It’s a common misconception that eating disorders are generally associated only in younger women. Women aged 50+ can also develop eating issues (or disordered eating).
What are signs of disordered eating in older women?
One of the most common signs is a preoccupation with weight, food or body shape. Other symptoms include excessive exercise, mood swings, isolation, binge eating, restrictive eating, and a significant weight gain or loss.
What are some ways I can improve my body image as I age?
There are several strategies that can help improve your body image. For example, be kind to yourself. Challenge your negative thoughts by replacing them with positive affirmations. In other words, practice self-compassion. In addition, try to prioritize your overall health rather than focusing on your weight. It’s a good idea to build relationships with supportive people. For deeper body issues, we recommend you consider seeking professional help.
Adam Wright, M.D. is a fellowship-trained orthopedic surgeon specializing in both routine and complex joint replacement of the hip and knee at the Plano Orthopedic & Sports Medicine Center in Plano, Texas. He is proficient in emerging and innovative techniques in primary and revision arthroplasty including minimally invasive surgery, anterior hip replacement, outpatient and rapid recovery total joint replacement, patient-specific or custom implants, robotic assisted surgery, computer navigation, infection, and fracture management. Learn more about 
Fayne Frey, M.D., is a board-certified clinical and surgical dermatologist practicing in West Nyack, 
