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Self-Love and Valentine’s Day – Why It’s Important

self love and valentines day
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marlene caraballoby Marlene Caraballo

originally posted January 31, 2019
updated February 7, 2021

Who to Give Your Heart to this Valentine’s Day

Has it been a long time since you gave much thought to February being the month for sweethearts? After fifty, Valentine’s Day can come and go quite quietly.

Maybe you’ll have dinner with your partner, there might even be flowers and candy involved, but the most special person in your life on February 14th (or any other day for that matter) and who you need to show big love to – is you!

Think about it. You are the person with whom you spent your entire life thus far, and the person with whom you will share the rest of your days. It’s high time for some self-love. It may be long overdue.

This Valentine’s Day, I challenge us all to give ourselves radical self-love. 

Show yourself the love…in whatever form feels right.

It may be going for a haircut or a pedicure; or taking yourself out to the movies; or to the bookstore to treat yourself to a new book or a beautiful new journal to fill with dreams.

It might be taking time to sit with ourselves and consider what prevents us from loving ourselves more deeply, and how to break through those blocks.

Perhaps you have made mistakes (haven’t we all?) that you haven’t let go of yet. Loving yourself might come in the form of forgiveness. A special day of self-love and self-care when you mindfully decide to forgive yourself for past transgressions.

Spend some time on the morning of Valentine’s Day to think about yourself (sounds uncomfortable, right?) and what you need to do to feel that you can love yourself more profoundly.

Loving yourself is not selfish. It is where it all starts – the proverbial well from which we draw from in order to pour love on the other special people in our lives.

Breathe deeply and consider what you could do to show yourself love. Then do it. Treat yourself. Forgive yourself.

persons feet on white and pink floral textile

Celebrate the flawed yet magnificent creature that you are.

Take two minutes to write yourself a love note. I’m serious! Try it. Write down two things that you love about yourself, bring your mind to loving thoughts on what you’ve accomplished in the over half a century that you’ve live life.

Consider how many more experiences you would love to have in the coming months. Tell yourself you have value and you are enough on this very day. Announce to yourself that you are releasing the expectations of perfection you hold for yourself from that day forward.

And if you love red roses, buy yourself one. Just one. To remind yourself all day that at the end of every day, regardless of how full or empty your life feels, you always have someone in your corner. You.


Marlene Caraballo , an eternal optimist, is a designer by day, writer by night. She is Mom to three sons, and a pet parent to Nutley. Marlene, who lives in Orange County NY, blogs about life after 50 at She strives to share inspiration and truth for women over fifty who want to live their best life and share the journey. Contact her at



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