by Leslie Farin
I recently had the pleasure of speaking to Elaine Bentley Baughn, MS, LMFT author of the book, “5 Rules for Drama-Free Living“. For those not familiar with Elaine, she is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 30 years’ experience and is certified in both EMDR, a brain-based rapid processing therapy for trauma, and Feng Shui, an energy-based therapy for the spaces where humans live and work. In addition to being a published author, this fabulous lady is also a poet and renowned speaker.
About “5 Rules for Drama-Free Living”
“5 Rules for Drama-Free Living” is a concise how-to guide for eliminating drama from your life. It’s a quick and enjoyable read with only 84 pages and written in an easy-to-read conversational manner. Packed with wisdom, insight, and humor, this refreshing little book provides practical strategies and exercises based on brain science and experience.
What makes 5 Rules for Drama-Free Living different from other self-help books? The author does not use flowery language which I find distracting; instead, she shares her tips straightforwardly and articulately. I like her straight-talking style which allows me to get to work quickly – my purpose for reading the book in the first place.
Elaine masterfully communicates the importance of accountability in Rule One: “There is one and only one thing in the world that we have power over and responsibility for – and that is the person in the mirror”.
The Buck Stops Here
“The buck stops here”, she says, “and that’s where the power lies as well”.
She goes on to discuss her remaining “rules” with wonderful tips and practical suggestions sprinkled throughout. My favorite nugget is part of Rule Two: We are all containers for our feelings. Here, she talks about the “Dear A-hole letter”, the one to write, but NEVER sent. This letter is a safe place to get unspoken rage and long-buried negative feelings out of your head and onto the paper. It’s a good way to clarify your thoughts and calm down, and later, perhaps you can write a letter that actually can be sent.
This book is a must-read for anyone who feels stuck and is ready to do the work necessary to successfully move forward. I originally purchased the Kindle version, but then decided I needed a hard copy to keep on my nightstand. If you want to live your best life and need a little help (and who doesn’t), this book is for you.
About Elaine Bentley Baughn, MS, LMFT
With an ironic sense of the world, 25 years of therapy practice under her belt, and a knack for demystifying the world of inner experience, Baughn is a spinner of the deft comprehensible metaphor. Avoiding jargon, the secret language of the therapeutic Illuminati, wherever possible, she grabs the gusto of interpersonal OMG, detangles long-standing knots, and skewers illusions of “who me?” innocence. The buck stops here, she says, and that’s where the power lies as well.
Licensed in Marriage and Family Therapy, with a Master of Science degree from the University of Bridgeport, Baughn is also the holder of certification in EMDR, a brain-based rapid-processing therapy for trauma. She is also certified in Feng Shui, an energy-based therapy for the spaces in which humans live and work.