It’s Getting Loud in Here! Learning How to Quiet the Self

Table of Contents

by Laura Sarna, Partner, For the Love of Healing

On a good day, we feel like fresh air and blue skies – invigorated, alive, open to possibilities. Normal ups and downs seem easy to navigate even when, underneath, exists a cycle of pervading thoughts like the clang and clutter of a New York street. It is no wonder, given the disruptions occurring in the world and our lives that impact our sense of security and truth. Wars, displacement, high prices, AI, aging, politics, family issues, natural hazards, the news. Why do these issues have such a profound effect on us? Let’s back up and ask, should they have an effect? I would say yes, as issues of humanity and managing our daily living touch us all – the activist in us, the critic, the teacher, the healer – and evoke emotion.

Do we have a way to live less stressfully amidst all the unrest? First, let me ask, do you want to? I think that some of us, myself included, are addicted to stress. Or to worry, about the news, our phones, or social media. We are addicted to drama or escape. We have become so accustomed to these feelings, or wanting to not feel them, that we think this is normal and just the way it is. We forgot we can get out of the noisy city and into the fresh open air. We disconnected from our bodies while all the noise plays out in our heads.

A More Peaceful Way to Live

There is another way. Wanting a more peaceful way to live, we can step off the merry-go-round of looping thoughts and learn how to get quiet. It helps to realize most of the clamor is not new, rather, old thoughts, arguments, and memories are spinning and recycling over and over. To make a change, getting quiet inside can work wonders. Not to say it is quick work – although it can be. But usually it more likely is a steady day-to-day realignment and commitment to oneself to create healthy change. After all, do we wake up each morning happily looking forward to how we are going to be triggered and stressed out today? Hopefully not! None of us is getting any younger and the best time to arrest the stress build-up in our systems is TODAY!

The idea is to learn how to quiet the self – the noise of your inner talk, fears, worries, expectations, disappointments, or excitements. Rather than being calm and present in the moment in your body, the looping thoughts and feelings churn and disrupt your inner landscape like a turbulent sea. Along comes a belly ache, difficulty breathing, or some other discomfort.

“We believe dwelling, analyzing, and spending our energy on a problem, will somehow help us figure it out so we can escape the discomfort we are feeling. Instead, we end up spinning in repetitive thought patterns, negative feelings, and regrets, and we become more anxious and exhausted. We are so distracted by our thoughts that we lose sight of anything in the present. How do you pause to give yourself time to reset?” – from Hopeful Healing Thoughts #6 by Deborah Singleton

The Key to Calming the Mind

There is a way to reset – a key that opens the door to the calm we desire. Not to say there isn’t more after the door opens! We can get to those concepts later. Our key is to pause and observe. To become an observer of things inside and outside of us, activating the observer-self that is already within. When I teach this idea in class, a question often follows: “OK, then what do I do next?” I smile and reply, “Nothing.” The big lesson here is to rest in this spot of observing (witnessing) and register your observations with kindness and curiosity.

“When we are overwhelmed with demands and the noise and confusion of the world, we need peace. Such a sanctuary is inside us. Going there gives us a retreat from the world. This wonderful place of healing and peace is our inner space.” – from The Little Book of Inner Space by Stafford Whiteaker.

No need to identify anything as right or wrong. There is a part of us that wants to “do.” To analyze, question, or do something else. We are so accustomed to “doing,” wanting to correctly and efficiently get things done. Pressuring and comparing ourselves to others and how they are “doing,” setting up all kinds of expectations. Yet, subtle and wonderful changes begin to take shape one moment at a time as we let go of the “doing” and allow ourselves to simply “be” with whatever it is we are noticing. Then we are letting go of the fight with our inner thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations by simply noticing them without critique. Sitting with love and acceptance creates an internal space that loosens, softens, and expands. Space to breathe. Thoughts become quieter; feelings become OK, and physical sensations ease up. What a relief!

Would You Like to Practice?

Ready to practice? Try these techniques that calm the mind and are easy to do on your own.

Simple Breathing Exercise

Right now, while you are sitting here at your device reading these words, take a deep breath.
Now a few more, nice deep soft-belly breaths on the inhale through your nose. Exhale slowly out your mouth.
Close your eyes and tap into your inner vision/awareness.
Slowly and kindly take a walk down through the inside of your body, from your head down to your feet, seeing, sensing, and feeling whatever you notice.
Simply notice and observe without judgment. Just observe.
Arriving at your feet, take a nice slow inhale all the way down to your feet. Then exhale out the bottoms of your feet feeling your connection to the floor/earth. Repeat several times.

You might now feel a lightness about yourself. You can visually bring the light into your core. Breathe in light through the top of your head. Move it down the center of your body and anchor into the earth using the pathway you’ve just created. Feel the bottoms of your feet. Notice anything you sense within your body – colors, sensations, or anything else. Take some time allowing the light to spread throughout your body and out into the space around you. Just be for a few minutes.

OK, how are you feeling? Register any differences from how you felt at the beginning. Changes may be subtle, or strong, or you may notice nothing at all. That is OK! You are learning a new tool. You will be benefiting from a new habit that is gently building upon itself. Being still may feel difficult at first and just takes practice. You may fidget or lose track of your focus. It’s all good! Relax into right where you are. Try this for just a minute or two each morning and periodically throughout the day.

Visual/Audio Guided Approach

If a visual/audio-guided approach works well for you, here is another tool. This brief video, Letting Go and Inner Silence allows you to close your eyes and be guided through an exercise. You receive thoughts about quieting the self as written in a meditation by Father Richard Rohr, followed by a brief guided visualization.

Visualization Using the Healing Properties of Water

Here is another way. For many of us, water offers deep healing properties. Visualize yourself at an ocean or lake engaging all of your senses as if you are actually hearing, feeling, smelling – breeze, waves rolling in, sunlight sparkling on the water. Breathe it in. Or give yourself the treat of a bath, letting yourself luxuriate in the water’s warmth as it soothes muscles and bones. If you do well with Epsom or sea salts, add a small amount to the bath water before getting in. “Return to a mothering state of nurture and peace” (The Little Book of Inner Space by Stafford Whiteaker).

Meditate in Nature

Another option is to take a break and go to a favorite park, meadow, or your backyard. Let yourself merge with the surrounding trees, the sky and clouds, the ground and grass, the colors, scents, and sounds. It can bring you to a very quiet and calm place inside. If you are unable to actually get out into nature, go there in your mind, using your imagination.

Benefits of Quieting the Self

We have all walked a trail in the wood. Quieting the self with steady practice can be likened to that of a new path being worn through a pristine meadow. Its definition further established with each passing. The old, abandoned trails fade away. Similarly, with practice we create new pathways in the brain, letting go of old stress patterns and building new paths of calm and clarity. Additional benefits we can gain:

Body relaxes
Physical discomforts ease
Fight or flight is reset
Nervous system calms
Blood pressure lowers
Anxiety and or depression reduces
Space is created for new, higher thought
Breathing improves

It is fitting to include a message from a champion of peace, Maya Angelou, who wrote:

“When we stop busying our lives and allow time to be absolutely quiet, we can go easily into the center of ourselves – and relax in our own personal peace.”

The Bottom Line

Do you want more of those good blue-sky days where you feel peaceful and at ease? Being more comfortable in your body? Being able to observe the world around you without reacting or getting triggered? If yes, your whole system will thank you! Your mind and heart will feel freer to focus on creative and fun activities. Your mood will be uplifted as the realization occurs that your joy and contentment are in your own hands. Nurtured from the quiet inside. The whole world will thank you because as you relax and put out quiet hopeful energy, others feel it. You are contributing to solutions and healing for all.

About the Author: Laura Sarna

Laura Sarna is a certified practitioner of energy balancing, guided imagery, and spiritual counseling, and is a business partner with For the Love of Healing. Her journey taught her to relax into this big, amazing process of becoming a better human increasingly aligned with her soul’s purpose. Embracing forgiveness and learning to love herself have been and continue to be her biggest opportunities for growth. Her studies with mentor Deborah Singleton (www.ahealingplace.org) proved invaluable along the way. She loves time with family, music, being in nature (especially forests), and all cats large and small.

Laura works and resides in the Dallas, TX area.

Apps to Help Calm the Mind

Here are a few of the many apps that can help you quiet your mind. There are many other options, so you are sure to find one that can help you.

Calm

The Calm app offers a variety of guided meditations and mindfulness exercises to help you relax and de-stress. It also has sleep stories and calming music to help you fall asleep.

Headspace

Headspace is another popular meditation app that offers a variety of courses and exercises to help you learn how to meditate. It also has features like sleep sounds and breathing exercises.

This app is a great option for beginners who are looking for free guided meditations. It has programs for stress, anxiety, sleep, and more.

Insight Timer is a free app that offers a wide variety of meditation timers and guided meditations. You can also find sessions on specific topics, such as focus or creativity.

Breethe is a simple app that helps you focus on your breath. It offers guided breathing exercises and timers to help you slow down and relax.